Zzzzzz…snort…..guh….HUH? What the..? Where the hell am I?

Oh, my hotel room.

Lovely.

After a brisk shower and a delightful cocktail of Red Bull and Tylenol, Hollywood and I awoke to start our second day at CMW. Our nine to five was remarkably un-rock’n’roll as we did our rounds at the numerous advertising agencies in Toronto to show off TiBconcerts.com. Once we were done with the dog and pony show, we returned to the hotel for a well deserved nap, knowing the night to come was going to be a rough one. We were heading to the famous Horseshoe Tavern to see one hell of a line up.

I had heard many a good word about The Horseshoe Tavern before going there, as it has been a beacon for live music since the forties. Entering the bar, I instantly felt at home; this was what a dingy rock club should look like; Old wooden bar, walls that had seen their fair share of repainting and random shit hanging from all the walls. The back area where bands played was nice and spacious and was home to a second bar. Always a nice feature. The magic of the place was instantly tarnished when I went to purchase my first drink. One double Whiskey and Coke: $11.50. I’m not sure I can hang the blame solely on the shoulders of The Horseshoe, as this atrocious pricing structure seems to be a Toronto-wide phenomenon. But seriously, what the hell? I’m at a rock club, not at the golf course ordering minorities to pull the Bentley around. Anyway, let’s talk about the music, shall we?

Up first were Hollerado, a group from Montreal that I was looking forward to. Meno, the lead singer, and I went to the same university and played in punk bands around the same time, so we had shared a stage once or twice. I’d always liked Meno’s stage presence. The guy is funny, self deprecating, and knows how to get the crowd pumped up. I was wondering how this would manifest itself now that he was playing in a non punk rock project, and I wasn’t disappointed. Meno was still his hilarious self and Hollerado are just a good time. Combining southern twang and catchy indy-pop hooks, Hollerado have a unique sound that is fun and accessible. Also, Meno tossed a half-full beer at someone in the crowd and expected them to catch it, then ridiculed the catcher for poor form. It was pretty damn funny.

Next on stage was The Arkells. While I wasn’t hit with the same instantly gratifying sensation I got from Hollerado, The Arkells are great musicians with an interesting sound. Having three guitar players allows them to create intricate chord progressions that add a lot of flavor to their traditional indy rock sound. I also support the use of keyboards and harmonicas. I also support indy bands like The Arkells that take the bold step of enjoying themselves. One too many times do I go to see an indy band whose recordings I’ve heard and enjoyed and been subjected to an all-night serious-fest where the musicians seem to be uncomfortable doing something that requires them to take their hands out of their back pockets and actually move around a little.

After The Arkells was a three-piece from Winnipeg called Inward Eye. Before I gush about my enjoyment of this band and their music, I must voice the problem I had with these three prairie boys; I play in a three piece band. My band plays rock and roll music. Recently, I had been thinking about trying to find a second guitar player to fill out our sound. I mean, seriously, how much balls can you generate with just three people? Fuck you, Inward Eye, Fuck you. Every song you played that night was speaking directly to me, and saying “No, you don’t need another guitar player, you all just need to play your instruments better”. These guys were a God damn wall of awesome. The music was no nonsense rock with an obvious punk influence and included some of the tightest, most technical drumming I’d heard so far this week. Again, this was another band that you instantly knew was having a great time. If the drummer wasn’t required to actually sit behind his kit to keep playing, I’m sure he’d be jumping around the stage just as much as his compatriots.

After another wallet-raping trip to the bar, I waded back into the increasing dense crowd to catch Danko Jones. To give the uninitiated some insight into Mr. Jones’ rock God status, I received a text message from my lovely girlfriend before heading to the show asking if I could please bring Danko Jones back to Montreal for her. This wasn’t a typo. She didn’t want a CD. She wanted me to come back with that actual man on stage. Normally, I’d be a tad miffed at the notion that my girlfriend needed more than me, but we’re talking about Danko Jones here. It would be like being jealous of a pilot whale for being able to consume more fish than me on a daily basis ( I know, not something you probably think of regularly, but I happen to like fish very much). Right, the music. Danko Jones plays loud, fast, no bullshit rock and roll. Now, I’ve described other bands in previous reviews as being “no bullshit”, but I think Danko stands out in this category as his stage presence teeters on being corny, but he’s able to stick his tongue out Gene Simmon’s style and say things like “Ladies and Gentleman, we are going to rock tonight!” and even the 10th level indy hipsters (their jeans are so tight, they are INSIDE their legs) are screaming along for more.

I was slightly bummed that Hey Rosetta! were going to take the stage after Danko Jones. This is not to say I don’t enjoy Hey Rosetta!, but I wasn’t sure if I was in the mood to hear soulful, complex indy music right after Danko just blew his rock load in the audience’s face. So, I retreated to the bar for another double whiskey coke, you know, to clear the palette. Hey Rosetta! is an indy rock group driven by the lyrics and vocals of their lead man Tim Baker. The lyrics are poetic without being standoffishly artistic and are augmented by the warmth of Baker’s voice. I’m also a big fan of the current indy trend of incorporating strings into rock music, and both the fiddle and cello (maybe a viola digamba?) work well as part of Hey Rosetta!’s sound. The drumming was a bit simple, but I think that fits the folky nature of the work. All in all, a great set from a band that’s generating a lot of well deserved buzz across the country.

As you can hopefully tell at this point in the review, I quite enjoyed the entire concert. While I’m sure a more battle-hardened music writer could glean the negative out of this event, I’m not going to attempt to. I had fun. I had fun during every performance and it seems the bands did too. While I might roll my eyes at certain types of music, if a band can get on stage, truly have fun, play well, and connect with their audience, then, shit, what can I say? You sing your little black hearts out My Chemical Romance! (Editor’s note: this site does not actually encourage My Chemical Romance to continue playing music)

Alright, two days in the bag and one to go!